1)
“You're waiting at a bus stop in your home town. A well-mannered and well-spoken male tourist stops by and asks you for directions to places he says he's been told to visit during his stay. You offer to help him, but as the conversation continues you find yourself overwhelmed by a growing sense of unease.”
- Apologies friend, I seem to be lost. Could you point me in the direction of the nearest tourist information center?
- Oh, sure. I guess you are not from around here?
- Correct, I am from a far away country called England. Are you a local lad then?
- Was that a joke? I don’t get it…Yes born and raised here.
- Do you have any family or friends close by?
- That was a weird question…why do you ask?
- No reason, was just trying to make conversation.
- Well, the closest tourist information center is just down the road.
- Thanks laddie, but I think I’ll stay and keep you company for a while.
- Well, that’s ok I guess. Why are you visiting this town if I may ask?
- No special reason, I just heard it was a quite and calm town, is it true that most people here keep to them self?
- Yes, that is quite true. Most people here would not notice if someone goes missing.
- Seems like there’s not many people outside this late, it makes it all the easier for me.
- What? What do you mean by that?
- Well no one can here you scream!
2)
“Close after the murder of a local youngster while the police is investigating the crime scene. People are starting to gather around the police blockade, a familiar face returns to the scene.”
Police: Now now, nothing to see here! Everyone back off!
Stranger: What has occurred here? Did someone die?
Police: Seems like we have a murder case on our hands. The victim was slaughtered, it’s the worse thing I’ve ever seen.
Stranger: Any information about the victim?
Police: All the information is classified, there is nothing we can tell the public about it at the moment. The one thing I can say is that whoever did this is a sick bastard.
Stranger: I don’t think your giving the murderer enough credit, he is an artist in a dull world trying to stand out with his work.
Police: Wait what? The person that has the guts to do that to another human being deserves the chair! There’s nothing artistic about this, it’s just cruel.
Stranger: Well officer, seems that you might have a grudge with the killer. Wasn’t it just recently that he killed wife Sharon and your unborn son?
Police: Don’t you dare about them! The killers should be 6 feet under if it was not for that god damn fire!
Stranger: Now don’t get mad yet office, we still have so much discuss you and i. I can see the anger in your eyes, try to stay focused. What do you know about the killer?
Police: It has to be a male, in his late 30’s, about yay tall, dark hair, caucasian, that about all that we know about him. It feels like we are so close to finding out who he is, but we are lacking one detail.
Stranger: Oh officer, if you only knew how close you were at times. What is this last crucial detail that you are lacking?
Police: We need a face, we know almost everything about him but we cannot put a face on the killer yet.
Stranger: Here officer, take this note. It might aid you in your quest. “Walks away”.
Officer: Wait! “Opens the letter and finds a picture of his wife”.
3)
Ryan: This does not feel quite right.
Lewis: What’s wrong?
Ryan: This is kind of uncomfortable, I mean everyone else don’t complain so I guess I shouldn’t either.
Lewis: Don’t go playing with the adjustment, it might get worse.
Ryan: Oh god, this is even more uncomfortable. I’ll have to call for personal to get this fixed.
Lewis: I told you! You always do this, just stay put and it will be over sooner than you think.
Ryan: I wish I could but I don’t see the purpose I should suffer, I mean I paid the same amount of money like everybody else. So I should be able to at least be comfortable.
Lewis: Just try to focus on something else, it has been 2 hours already might as well endure this last hour.
Ryan: Well, what do you propose? I cannot really look at anything, the sun is to bright and it is starting to get really cold in here.
Lewis: Excuse me miss! Could we get a blanket over here?
Janet: Of course sir, in a minute.
Ryan: I’m starting to feel sick, think I am going to throw up. I don’t think it was a good idea to take those pills, I’m still scared out of my mind.
Lewis: Well now we know Ryan, next time you can try something else. I’ve heard a lot of people try getting drunk before to loosen up. Maybe you can try that?
Ryan: No way! I think that may just make things worse, then I might actually throw up.
Janet: Here is your blanket sir, can I get you anything else?
Lewis: No thanks, we are all set.
Ryan: Oh my god, feels like there is something going on. My seat is shaking and all.
Lewis: Yes just stay put, it will all be over in a minute or two.
Shello,
SvaraRaderaI have a strange feeling that i know what those guys in your part 3 do but i should wait for some people...
screw it they are on a plain!!!!
am i right sir? :P
slaínte!
I suppose that dialogue 1 and 2 are very closely realted to each other ;) However, I don't get that sense of unease while reading the first dialogue. Sure, the man seems odd enough and his last two lines are creepy as hell, but the boy goes from thinking "this guy is weird" to fear.
SvaraRaderaIn the second dialogue however, it's the police who's not catching on. Why would he tell this strange man so many details about a murder case? Especially since the man seems to know things about his murdered family, and sees connections between the two cases that the police doesn't?
(I would really like to know how tall someone is if he's "yay tall" - sounds like fun ;) )
As for the third dialogue, like Martin I'm guessing they're on a plane. Ryan, of course, having a phobia.
I didn't really understand why the stranger wanted to stay with the "local lad", I found that a bit creepy and I for one, would not want to visit or even live in that place. It feels creepy aswell.
SvaraRaderaI can just as Hannah, see that the first two dialouges are related and I found it a bit weird that the officer shared so much information with the strange. I got the feeling that it was the stranger that was the killer.
I believe that the last dialouge took place on a plane.
Hi,
SvaraRaderaI agree with the others, the two first dialogues are clearly related and I do guess that the killer was the creepy stranger. I really like the fact that you are able to create an atmosphere of unease straight away in your dialogues. when reading you get a fealing of uneasiness straight away and in a short dialogue, this is quite hard to achieve, so good work.
I do however feel that your connections between events and escaletions of emotions and thoughts with your characters are a bit rough and might need a bit work to be smoother and not so abrupt. Just to get a better flow to the story .
Keep it up!, // sophie