Limerick: My friend Jack
You might know my good friend Jack
His not a kind of cognac
His taste is exquisite
Your feelings revisit
While having a sip of this Jack
The Ode: Computer
O computer with thy screen so bright
Your body is squared and color have faded
Thou, weird form, you give me light
With all my quest you have me aided
It is said you have no own will
When by old age you are struck and invaded
Thou believe everything starts with nil
Your master shall continue getting you upgraded
To this generation you are considered a waste
They only think of trading you with haste
The Poem: self-conscious
I’m sitting here in the dark
Fearing the day someone makes another remark
Why me? What did I ever do to them?
I feel like a criminal the way I’m being condemned
It feels like I’m always at the edge of my seat
If they don’t watch I’ll knock you of your feet
You better think again I won’t back out of a fight
If that’s really what you want then all right
All these things that I hear might be subconscious
That’s what happens when your self-conscious
HI,
SvaraRaderaI think that you nailed the rythm of the limerick and it made me giggle.
But the ode to the computer was even funnier. You could tell that you really like your computer and I admit that I am one of those who would buy a new computer and throw out the old one when it becomes old and slow. It made me laugh and I really liked your use of words.
Then you change the tone in the last poem. It is a quite serious and emotional poem that I think captures the thoughts of someone that are insecure and it is quite touching.
It seems that you have quite the talent for poetry and I would really like to see what comes next. Good Job! // sophie
Hi!
SvaraRaderaI know I'm bit late, but better late then never.
I didn't really feel the rythm of the Limerick, I don't know if it was because of the last words that I didn't really feelt rhymed?!
The Ode on the other hand was really good. I could really feel your feelings for your computer. Good job on that one.
The last one was a bit more serious than the previous two, which was quite nice and it shows that you can do more than just funny poems ;)